Words of Wisdom

by George Costanza

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that? A bonus?!? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years till you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, and you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off in an orgasm!! Amen."

Found it here. I don't the the link works any longer though...

Beards... a boon!

Advantages of having facial hair:

• For one, men get to customize a part of their body which women don't. One can style one's beard in various ways- frenchie's, goatie's, chops, bla bla bla... or one can simply shave.
  
• One ends up washing one's face every now and then (when one shaves), thus leading to cleaner skin.
• The shaving blade scrapes out the dead skin cells along with hair, thereby improving the quality of the skin.
• If one doesn't shave, a beard protects the facial skin from dirt and pollution.
• Apart from aesthetics, beards also protect the skin from excessive cold in places like Canada.
• Facial Hair itself acts as sun-protection. If one lives in a sunny area, then facial hair can provide shade to the skin- thus leading to a fairer complexion.

No wonder women spend so much time on makeup- nature did half our work for us!